Squirrel…Shiny….wait, what?

Oddly, I find that writing often gets my head screwed on and my feet and my body going in the same direction. I sometimes wonder how I got to the point I am today, here in June 2016.  I am a perfectionist at heart and sometimes the fact that I need to write something perfect often screws with the underlying reason why I chose to write in the first place.

This blog has been lacking writing for about half year.  I was so caught up in previously laid plans and direction that I really forgot to plan this year.  My successes from 2015 have just carried over into this year, misrepresenting my motion and drive. The shortest way to post it is that I was coasting.

I am in a self-assessment sort of mood, something I normally do in December of each year.  However, lack of mojo motivation, energy drive, or confidence has brought me to this introspective time early it seems.

This is a blog about honesty.  Some of what I am going to put here, I can honestly say I am ashamed of. Mostly because I think my reputation is opposite of what I am sharing.  Nonetheless, this is real and a cathartic process that I feel like I have to put down.  If only for myself.

My ugliest first.  I have been in business for over ten years. I started in 2005.  I have only filed taxes for 2005-2008.  I owed for all of those years.  I have a bill still due for 2007-2008.  I have yet to file my taxes for 2009-2015.  I am ashamed.  You would figure that someone as crazy organized as I would have their shit together and even file early.  Nope.

I think my problem started when I found out I owe and was still just struggling to pay normal life bills.   Why would I feel the need to add even more to what I owe?  I know not helpful especially since there are penalties and interest if I do owe.  This is one of few things in life that I am not a logical thinker on.  Vulcan dogma where are you?

I currently owe just over $4k in back taxes penalties and interest.  I have hired a CPA and she has helped me to organize what I need to get these all filed.    So step one is admitting you have a problem.  Step two is finding help to fix the problem.  Step three is trying really hard to not revert back to the original problem.  The good news on this is that I am more organized than before and wrangling the proper documents and filling out the forms provided by my CPA to get this issue in order.

I have lost sleep over this.  The main reason it is not being actively worked out is that not doing it not only has a threat of owing more money but not being able to buy my first home. As a driver of my own destiny, this seemed to be the last straw in just putting it off.  I will be damned if I let it keep me out of buying and therefore saving money due to lower monthly mortgage/rent payments!  The cost of housing in Denver is ridiculous!

Having to “adult”, is definitely no fun whatsoever.  My plans to drive my life did not include taking a detour to throw money at my tax debt, and likely additional debts from none filed years.  I have been making amazing strides to achieving my goal of getting the BuzzBus going.  The short list is: I have gained financing, got it repaired, paid off (nearly) that loan, got it titled, registered, and plated.  I should be celebrating the huge efforts and obstacles I have overcome.  Though the detour I mentioned is keeping me from pushing to the next phase, making  celebrating feel hardly worth doing.  Sort of like, Yay!  now you can’t really move forward due to the cash hemorrhage of the tax debt payoff.  Did I mention that “adulting” was no fun?  Yet, I must own up to the fact that my procrastination has come back to bite me in the ass.  I have no one to blame but myself.

So I have some pretty hefty bills that I am levying on myself.  They are, in brevity, laid below:

Financial Obligations

Full Amount needed to buy/break lease: $3,440.00

  • $ 1,000 Minimum for Down Payment on Townhome
  • $ 2,440 Lease Break Fee
  • Must give 60-day notice, fee due when notice is given to make official

$ 4,205.99 Back Taxes Owed (Most likely more, crossing fingers for less)

$ 8,000 Bus Bodywork and Panting (August/September Start)

$ 150 National Training Fee (by June 30)

$ 800 Allergy Testing (Payments Available)

Grand Total: $16,595.99

I have also laid out two issues I need to get taken care of that are somewhat minor in comparison to the others.  I have $150 for training fees for our National Training, that is not negotiable.  I must go.  The other somewhat minor thing is that I have acquired allergies, ones that break me out in hives.  I have gone to the primary doctor and gotten a referral to the allergist.  What is sad, is that I have to make the decision to ignore my allergies, as I cannot afford the out of pocket cost of the $800 fee.  Let alone the $150 drops every 3 months to develop my tolerance to the allergen I have yet to determine.  So  I cross off two things that I must “table” in order to adult and get right with the IRS and stop throwing money away renting at the ridiculous amount of  $1,220 rent+ $70pet rent, for a total of $1,290 per month.

The process of putting this all into words is cathartic.  I would be remiss if I did not say that I am not doing this alone.  I do have the help of my fiance.  I sometimes forget that.  However, to add more fuel to the fire, he has lost and gained, lost and gained and hates his current job.  All of this within a matter of 30ish days.  Putting a strain on the money ask paydays are of our normal schedule and are not lining up so well with our due dates on our bills.  So in effect, we cannot save for any of that until we can take care of the minimum we need to just live at the moment.  As someone who is a goal achiever, this is VERY frustrating to me.  It is forcing me to be at a standstill.

Where in the hell does all of this leave me?  I am not sure, save for the fact that I feel like I need to take on more income-earning efforts to make the whole process lurch forward even just an inch. I loathe treading water!




The Driving Map for 2016


Each year, now, I go thru the incentive guide and really look at my companies incentives and offerings.  Looking at where I am now, where I will be when the calendar rolls over, and where I would like to go.  I must admit that I really thought that there would be nothing for me to really achieve this year from the corporate stand point as they seemed to be incentives were for the low and the high.  Meaning that I was in the middle and either was too good to hit the low or to far below the high to compete with any real chance.

The beauty of going through the guide with a fine tooth comb is realizing things that didn’t occur to me.  For example, was I really sitting as high as I thought.  Did I fail to work to keep the team where I thought we were/should be.  Did I see that not only was a requirement needed for a trip but also needed to help put me where I really should be?  I know all this seems a bit deep and full of mental musings, but it really does help me get my head screwed back on.  Stopping the mud puddle splashing, and forcing me to get out dry off and start driving this “success car” back on the road.

I have talked to some consultants who help commiserate, some who just listen and say I should be grateful, and others who it seems never noticed I was communicating with them.  In the end, it is me who must kick my own ass.

If I asked a girl in my downline to do what I have done below, I am sure that it would not get done quickly.  Why?  Well if it is taking me this much time to do it and I have more experience in wading thru what it all means, it will look beyond Greek to them. So I am going to ask, but I am going to help too!  I also know that some of of them will see this list as completely out of the real of reasonable reach.

So I am starting mine, and will add my why and some of my own personal goals too.  Sometimes done is better than perfect, but more often sometimes staging the process and coming back to it is even better to get your head around something that seems impossible.

Company Incentives/Offerings

Cancun Trip Contest (Starting at Director Level)

  • $28,000 Personal Retail Sales
  • 8 New, Activated Consultants
  • Contest Period: Jan 1st – Mar 31st, 2016
  • Trip Dates to be determined

Why obtaining this trip is important…

2016: Director Requirements (My Year Will Start At This Level)

  • Personal Sales: $2,250/month
  • Active downline:
    • 1st–> 8 women (Projected for 1/1/16: 14)
    • 2nd–> 0 women (Projected for 1/1/16: 1)
    • Active Sr. Consultant in 1st-> 0 (Projected for 1/1/16: 0)
  • 50% commission rate
  • 3.5% override based on team sales (1st & 2nd lines)
  • Monthly Lifestyle Bonus $200 (with 1 N.C.A. per month)
  • 30% Commission on individual orders that are $39.99 or less
  • 40% Commission on individual orders that are $40.00 or more
  • $50 in free product/$1000 in retail sales monthly

2016: Advanced Director Requirements 

  • Personal Sales: $3,000/month
  • Active downline:
    • 1st–> 12 women
    • 2nd–> 4 women
    • Active Sr. Consultant in 1st-> 1
  • 53% commission rate
  • 4.0% override based on team sales (1st & 2nd lines)
  • Monthly Lifestyle Bonus $300 (with 1 N.C.A. per month)
  • 30% Commission on individual orders that are $39.99 or less
  • 40% Commission on individual orders that are $40.00 or more
  • $50 in free product/$1000 in retail sales monthly

Why obtaining Advanced Director is important…

2016: Senior Director Requirements

  • Personal Sales: $3,500/month
  • Active downline:
    • 1st–> 18 women
    • 2nd–> 8 women
    • Active Sr. Consultant in 1st-> 2
  • 55% commission rate
  • 5.0% override based on team sales (1st & 2nd lines)
  • Monthly Lifestyle Bonus $400 (with 2 N.C.A. per month)
  • 30% Commission on individual orders that are $39.99 or less
  • 40% Commission on individual orders that are $40.00 or more
  • $50 in free product/$1000 in retail sales monthly

Why reaching Senior Director level is important…


President’s Club Requirements

  • $60,000 Personal Retail Sales
  • 16 N.C.A.
  • Group Sales NOT counted to reach this level.

 Why reaching Presidents Club is important…

Board Member Requirements

  • $75,000 Personal Retail Sales
  • 24 N.C.A.
  • Group Sales $250,000.00

 Why reaching Board Member Level is important…

Retail Sales Bonus

  • $10,000.00 Monthly get 2.5% back ($250) next month.
  • $100,000.00 Annually get 2.5% back ($2,500) end of year.

Why reaching Retail Sales Bonus is important…


Life, with a sidecar of purpose…


This is a phrase that I have heard stick out in a recent pop song on the radio.  Apart from it being catchy, it does tend to make you think.  Some people think that this statement doesn’t apply to them as they are not anyone important.  I disagree with that thought process.  You may think that its cliché, but I think that you & your purpose matter in ways that have not even crossed your mind.

To have purpose you don’t have to be someone that society finds important or worth caring about.  You just have to be someone who wouldn’t mind effecting someone else in a positive way.  This could be your children, your partner, your friend, a co-worker or yourself.

Purpose doesn’t have to mean that you are going to be the one to cure cancer, create the Sony Tele-Porter, or be a Nobel Peace Prize recipient. Purpose is more of an underlying value that drives and informs your decisions in life. I suppose it might also be called a syllabus for your life. Now before you go wondering if this is some grand gesture that you have to ‘get just right” because it can’t change, you are mistaken.  Just like a syllabus is handed out at the beginning of each course, the professor may change the syllabus for the class the next semester or year.  The focus and the directive change, and could due to many factors.  In my opinion a well-crafted syllabus for life is one that is informed and fluid.  Honed to be clearly focused thru the trial and error of living life.  The purpose is unique to you and can only be yours, no one can tell you it’s right or wrong. Putting it out there is the first and most important step.  Keeping it in your mind, means it never fully forms.  It needs to see the light of day, no matter how many times you adjust it.

What is your purpose?

I ask myself this more frequently than one might think.  It is natural, and normal to doubt if you count.  But count toward what?  Is anyone really keeping score but you?  Do you care if anyone is keeping this cosmic score? Many of you will say, hell no.  But I think at heart we all really do care what others think.  Or we may not do the things we do.

For me, and I cannot speak for anyone else, I want to matter.  I want to leave a mark on this world that will be missed when I am no longer here to make it a fresh one.  I think this has been something I have always felt.  I feel that this is the best way to achieve “immortality”.  Do I want to live forever?  I would be one smart women if I did, but no.  I often thought I could do this thru my career as an architect.  Effect people’s lives by improving the environments we live and work in.  But even that is not forever, buildings fall apart and are torn down.  I can’t think of any modern day pieces that could compare with say… the pyramids.  But I can leave an indelible mark on those that I am around.  One that may affect them so deeply, that it changes how they leave marks on others.  Now that is a breath taking concept.

What is my purpose?  Well after having a few days to get my head screwed on right, I need to make sure I set my purpose.  I can’t rely on a compensation plan to set my goals.  Admittedly, I was going to let that happen.  But now its time to really get down to it, time is ticking and I need to know what it is…my purpose for 2016.  My purpose is to set me and my girls up for success.  To make this the year of growth so powerful that heads will turn and ask “how”?  Not because I want to be in a spot light, but because I want to show ’em that I/we can do it without any of their help.  Whining and complaints aside, I want to show them up… that the concerns were not static.  Not something to be ignored.  I want to use them to get what we want. Not the other way around.

How do I get what I want?  I get it by helping you get what you want and showing it to you every time you want to quit, throw in the towel and want to spin on you heal.  Well behaved women seldom make history, this year we are going to damn well blow up history and make people take notice!

Are you with me?

Grace and Patience…

12307984_1196441613704202_1397195405034749273_oLast night my company released its compensation plan for 2016.  Much of what was discussed I had heard from members of our Presidents Club and Board of Directors.  There were not a whole lot of surprises that I had not already anticipated, but there were a few that either were announced or that hit me when I saw the full plan.

In 2015, I truly achieved my best year ever in business. Highest sales ever, number of trips/contests won, and largest paychecks from the corporate office I have ever had the pleasure to receive.  No it doesn’t take ten years, to get to this level.  It just took ME that long because I refused to go head first into business and instead work it alongside other important pursuits in my life.

In 2015, I got a taste.  The cool-aid has been drunk. I want more.

The plan was laid out in its full entirety.  I was hoping for more in the middle.  There is some for the women below me and there is definitely some for the women at the top.   But the middle, where the bulk of the selling is done, is left at the lower end of the top dogs or being too good for the beginner’s level.  To do what is needed, will require me to give up something else to achieve it.  Why? Simply I am either, not able to do the sales quick enough OR the volume of sales needed over 12 months to be one of the first few to hit this.  In other words, yes if you do you get.  However, when you cap the number of those that can “get” it becomes a speed contest.

A good friend of mine said,  that if we pointed this out this would likely be the response: “you are in business for yourself and corporate incentives are just icing on the cake”.  She was so right, I just had to laugh.  So this year I will not only have to put on my big girl panties, but I will have to ensure they are held up!  Hence the image for this blog entry.

In 2015, each of my personal goals worked alongside a corporate contest. Meaning that when I hit my goal, I got another bonus with winning a corporate contest.  This was especially gratifying, as I was WINNING with GOAL ACHIEVING.  I don’t want to sound ungrateful, but that was part of what kept fueling me to keep my sales moving was the doubling effect.  So I am currently getting over that disappointment, and finding the grace and patience to find the silver lining in this compensation plan.

The second blow to me was not something I expected.  I mean it is and it isn’t.  A team leader who has been in the business longer than I, announced that she would be retiring from the business.  Sad moment for sure, but she had already let me know earlier in the year that this was coming.  She was just unsure as to when.  This will leave a large hole in the fabric of our sisterhood.  It will leave women without sponsorship.  It will leave myself and others bolstering to help those left with no one to help as a mentor.  I will have to take on a larger role as a leader within our state.

I am willing to do this. I can do this. I am capable of doing this.  The challenge is finding a way to feel comfortable in the shoes that have been left empty.  This will be a year of growth.  I know this, because I am uncomfortable.  Now is the time to prepare, and know that I will make mistakes.  I will learn from them as I hope others will learn by watching my journey thru 2016.  They don’t call them “growing pains”, just because.



It’s sort of like Mary Shelly’s Frankenstein, but more than a bit different.  So many things will “live” this year.  But this post will be about what I want, I plan, I will make live in 2016.